Flying Shrimp Threaten Boise Residents! Yes you might not realize the threat that flying shrimp pose, but I am here to tell you reader that these airborne shrimp are indeed quite deadly.
Shrimp are found everywhere these days, in salads, in stir-fry, in sushi, even in pizza, but in only one form do they become airborne and there shrimp become so frightening. These flying shrimp can be found at local Japanese steakhouses where they are superheated on a large grill that allows many people to sit around the heated grilling area. Once the shrimp have been heated up they are then propelled via spatula through the air by the table chef, towards a table patron’s mouth. The shrimp that has been basted in a variety of spices and sauces has an interior temperature that is very hot, and has a good chance of burning a person’s mouth. There is a strong possibility of a person having to consume large amounts of Asahi beer quickly in order to prevent the scalding from the sizzling, spicy, flying shrimp; but what might happen if there is no beer or a person doesn’t catch the flying shrimp? What if it hits them in the eye and temporarily blinds them?
The shrimp could scald the mouths of the American citizen and has the possibility of catching a carpet on fire with its sizzling spiciness. We as Americans must remain on the alert against the danger of spatula propelled, flying shrimp.
I have taken it upon myself to notify the Department of Homeland Security of the danger of flying shrimp. They have heeded my warning and now are banning just not shrimp, but all aquatic animals on all domestic and international flights through out the country. Hopefully through these new precautions every man, woman, and child can sleep peacefully now that they are safe from the threat of flying shrimp. Thank you for taking the time to read about our newest threat; the ever present flying shrimp; hopefully through ever present vigilance all American’s can live a live with out the terror of spatula propelled flying shrimp.
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4 comments:
You are pulling on my heart strings buddy. I had an entire date ruined one time because of these unfortunate "Fry By's" as they call them. The shrimp was thrown without the dates knowledge and became firmly implanted in her unusually large hair. The spicyness of the Shrimp Bomb was simply too much for her to handle and she ran out of the restaurant in a hysterical fit. Unfortunately she was then hit by a car being driven by a drunk circus monkey. Neeless to say, she is no longer with us and that stupid monkey is safely behind bars (Boise Zoo).
Hey Ben,
They recently found a picture of the Deadly Flying Shrimp
http://www.funnypicoftheday.com/pic/giant%20killer%20shrimp.jpg
Hey Bro,
I take from the number of posts about wildlife (be they dead or alive) that you are having difficulties with your animal magnitism. Whats next rampaging llamas? Careful next time you go back to CO!
Gee wilikers I never did think about them Fry Bys.
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