WHISTLER

The day has finally come and past. The fabled trip to Whistler-Blackcomb. This trip started over 6 months ago in the hot dusty deserts of Iraq. A dream of one man who thought "What am I gonna do with all this money? I'm going to go skiing. I'm going to go to Whistler." From their the planning took off. Asking friends and family if they wanted to come. Many said they wanted to come. Many said hold on let me check. Some said they would come. In the end it was no I can't make it. Would have made it a lot easier if they had replied sooner. Could have saved about a grand, but whatever. In the end only two people stood out from the rest of the masses and calmly said "Yes Ben we shall brave the barbaric Canadians and join you in the fabled fantasy land of Whistler, British Columbia!! Through our powers combined we shall slay the beast known as Whistler-Blackcomb!!!" Little did we know what this mythical creature had to offer. I decided to go during the peak time when the beast would distracted by hordes of other skiers and snowboarders. Thats right during New Years. I found a base of operations from which to unleash our campaign on the mountain and the bars. A small but exquisitely furnished condominium known by the code name "Marketplace Lodge". At a key point in the "village" this stronghold would play a huge part in recovery, storage and nourishment operations. It also served as a excellent place to stage out of before the frequent assaults on either of the two 8,000 foot monsters. Come the 27th Day in the 12th Month in the Year of our Lord 2005 the three intrepid adventurers went forth and began the journey to Whistler. Flying to Seattle the City of Rain where they met up with a late arrival in the pack of Snow Slayers, from there we traveled by train to the fortress city of Vancouver and from there by bus to the city in the clouds, Whistler.

Here we go again
New skiing stuff again
Skiing down the avenue
Gonna show these Canadians a thing or two
ooooh hoh oh oh oh oh Hua!

Exiting the bus we quickly took in the surroundings noticing the over abundance of snow and the beautiful people. Making our way to the field operating post in the 'MarketPlace Lodge" was no easy task. Carrying our Weapons of Mountain Destruction slowed our advance to a near crawl, but we eventually rallied up at the entrance to our room. The room was decked out in splendid furnishing and had a good observation point overlooking the mountains. Would be very effective in determining what kind of snow we would be up against in the coming days and nights.

Jump up, buck up, shuffle to the door
To be a super skier,
You gotta be hardcore

The next day a full fledged assault on Blackcomb Mountain began in earnest. At the crack of 1245 we hit the slopes like a rolly polly. Ice and poor visibility degraded our navigation systems forcing members of the group to move slowly and retire early. The initial attack on Blackcomb was not successful, but the future was bright. That night the crowds where out in force slowing the nourishment process and the consumption of the adult beverages. It was a early night. Not that, that kept everyone from sleeping in late as hell. The next day the elite Spec Ops Recon team advanced relentlessly up the snowy face of Whistler Mountain. This 7,160 foot monster had thousands of acres of terrain to conquer and they where up for the job. After a morning of laying tracks in fresh snow they where met by the Ninja assassin known only as "K-le", while secret agent "Da Boss" took part in a top secret training exercise. The trio decided to begin a offensive on the legendary Harmony Bowl, hearing rumors untouched powder devils and steep formidable slopes. Many acres of powder where layed low during the foray that will live on as the Wait in the Lift Line. Surely songs will be sung of its tragedies and triumphs.

Oh when I go home people they will ask me
How did you spend your vacation boy?
How did you play?

I'll reply as I stare them in the eye
Skiing, Riding every day

That evening the evil Canuck air played biological warfare on a member of the team. GrandMaster B of the Wilson Clan was layed out by a sinister germ. Down a member the group pushed on undaunted. Finding sustenance at the exquisite Mongolie Grill and parting at Tommy Africa's (which has nothing African about it). Taken down a notch by the night operation, everyone crawled out of bed with head aches and need for greasy food. Only I 001981 was able to muster up the strength to strap on the Weapons of Mountain Destruction and take a couple of runs at Whistler Mountain. Taking a double black diamond from the Harmony Ridge I vanquished a whole division of powder demons. However I was beginning to feel the effects of the germ warfare as well and had to retire early. Getting back to the 'MarketPlace Lodge' I took a much needed nap. That night we acquired raw fish product wrapped in rice and seaweed. It was delicious and free. Suffering from fever and the onset of the Ebola Virus, GrandMaster B and 001981 where regulated to couch and sleeping duty, while K-le and Da Boss went out to enjoy the New Years festivities.

Oh when I go home people they will ask me
How did you spend you vacation boy?
How did you play?

I'll reply as I'm flying
sick and dying

Still under the weather the next day it was a day of relaxation. Ninja assassin K-le was called off assingment to go on a other more urgent mission known only as "work and school". That night Fondue was had in mass quanities and proved to be a boon in the recuperative effects. Massive quanities of tea where also consumed which where the key to health. That night 12 inches of snow fell on the mountains. A emergency action message was sent out by higher headquarters calling for immediate operations to take place. Still feeling not operational GrandMaster B and Agent Da Boss remained in the 'village' to look for suspicious activity, while 001981 fought the ski battle of a lifetime in the 7th Heaven Zone and Blackcomb Glacier of BlackComb Mountain. After a test fire of the Weapons of Mountain Destruction on the Jersey Cream, 001981 heard reports of untouched powder amongst the cliffs and hidden glades of the 7th Heaven Zone. Spying a likely target 001981 zeroed in for the kill. Trying to get a angle on the target ( a long extremely steep straight away of virgin powder with small cliffs and kickers in its midst before giving way to glades) required much traversing and hucking off a small cliff to get in the right position. Screaming down the hill at exponential speed 001981 slashed through powder of incredible depth with wide sweeping arcs. Coming up to a cliff 001981 hunkered down and leaned back, hitting the cliff at Mach speed. Flying through the air to land perfectly amongst a large heap of powder demons. Stamping hard and hanging on 001981 vanquished them with a double slash mark of his Line Mike Nick Pro Model WMDs. Speeding along our hero fought bravely down the rest of the mountain to the Lift Line. This battle played out numerous times throughout the day with sometimes the powder and trees getting the upperhand and 001981 suffering coldly. The balance of power went both ways through out the day, with the battle raging all over BlackComb mountain. Drop Kick Murphys are coming out with a battle ballad about it soon. At the end of the day 001981 was the victor, skiing triumphantly to the Apres ski.

Not to be out done though, Whistler Mountain seeing its sister was in trouble, knowing that it could not survive another onslaught from 001981, sent its Australian Sirens to make sure that he did not ski again.....They plied 001981 with the high octane Molson Canadian and said hello to the arch enemy of the ski day....Jose Curevo.
Blurry images
Dancing
more blurry stuff
Where are my glasses?
small dorm room
bunk beds?
Blurry
001981 was way to hung over the next day as he stumbled home after his latest mission. "No skiing for me today" he thought. The mountain had won, through devious means, but thats what mountains do. The next day the crew left Whistler-Blackcomb behind, with its mountains of powder and beautiful people. Maybe next year they will return for another attempt to conquer its majesty, but for now they are going home.

001981 OUT