Retro = Cool

Hey, if you haven't already purchased yours, make sure to while supplies last. The newest in cellular and retro cool technology. The Retro-Cellular Handset!

http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/7830/

Quote of the Day

I thought this was an interesting Quote for us all to consider. Whether you are Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Buddist, or an Individual, it is important to note why much of the world is at war with one another. In fact, some could argue that beliefs, are the only thing that cause war.

"What weighs nothing and yet is powerful enough to start a war? A belief." Unknown

Airman's words fly shop into chaos, improve productivity

A recent slip of the tounge by a young Airman First Class (we will call him Airman Topo Map) slipped the normally peaceful 366 Logistics Readiness Squadrons Air Terminal Operations Flight into utter chaos. On Monday afternoon a certain Staff Sergeant (we will call him Sgt. Chuck Taylor left shoe) asked Airman Topo Map how close he was to getting his flightline drivers licsense. At the time Topo Map was surfing the internet and looking up some phat' scores on his home team. (Cuz dats whats we do back in da crib ya know) Without even looking up from the screen he replied "I'm workin on it". SSgt Chuck Taylor left shoe responded by telling him "It sure doesn't look like it, you need to be working on it instead of looking at this crap"
"Hold on man"
"What the $#@# did you just say!! In my office now!!
"Ok oK in a second man"
"I SAID IN MY OFFICE NOW YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT ME!!"
At this point Topo Map got off his ass, and proceeded to get a quite complete chewing of the hind quarters by SSgt Chuck Taylor left shoe, TSgt Belt Buckle and MSgt Doritos Bag. Afterwards a harsh silence fell over the entire shop and people vacated the scene like cockroaches. Now a new sense of edginess has fallen over the shop, with rumors of harsh punishment to come for infractions and laziness. When asked later about the incident SSgt Chuck Norris left shoe replied "Damn kid, just lucky we weren't in Iraq or I would have instituted some wall to wall counseling."
"Yes jolly o we need to bring that back" said Pippin
"Shut up Pippin"
A1C Topo Map had this to say about the incident "Well you know I was workin on it, but not very hard, I know I disrepected him but he didn't need to yell at me like that. I mean I'm just a dumb airman. Maybe next time a NCO tells me to do something I'll do it then and not be a moron."
Mr. Real Mckenzies came forward with this statement "I think this is what this place really needed. It been a long time since there has been a real good chewing of the posterior around here"
"Right 'o' chaps" said Pippin
"Shut up Pippin"
Since then workers make themselves busy through out the day, not wanting to be seen sitting around. The same forklift has been checked out and washed at least 5 times today. Training gets done on time now.
"Sgt. Chuck Taylor left shoe struck me a usually a quite kind of guy, didn't really expect him to get loud like that, don't want to piss him off no way." said SrA Lord of the Rings DVD
New to the Air Force Airman Basic Obe Won Kenobi thought "He is my supervisor I hope he doesn't freak out on me like that."
"I'm glad I had such a impression on the airmen, this way they are acutally more productive. You would be amazed what taking away someones weekend or making them stay late will do. But seriously what do I care I'm out in May... yeah. Hell yeah." Said SSgt Chuck Taylor left shoe.

Christmas Gone Wild

If you think you have seen it all on Christmas, think again. This is an example of "Taking it too far". You have to admire the people that did this though:

http://www.engadget.com/entry/1234000263069055/ - Click on the picture series to view Clark Griswold times 2.

Attention all Birds!

ATTENTION ALL BIRDS

Official Department of Homeland Insecurity Memo:

Due to a heightened state of alert concerning the bird flu virus, the Department of Homeland Insecurity has determined that birds will no longer be offered unrestricted access to United States airspace.

As of January 1, 2006, all migratory birds will be required to arrive at international airports where Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) personnel will check for proper travel documentation and clear the birds for entry into the United States, provided they are not carrying undeclared fruit, which is even more dangerous than bird flu.

All birds wishing to enter this country will be required to carry passports, proof of immunizations, and entry visas. Birds who do not have visas will be charged (ducks will be billed) a flat $250 entry fee which must be paid three separate times, at three different government offices, after standing in three different lines as per standard INS regulations.
All undocumented birds shall hereforth be deemed "terrorists."

Birds entering U.S. airspace without proper authorization will be escorted by military aircraft to the nearest landing facility.

Birds("terrorists") that approach the Pentagon or White House will be fired upon with bird-seeking air-to-air missiles. All such violence will be televised by Fox News in a glitzy special entitled "Terror from above!"

The Department of Homeland Insecurity is requesting that all hunters and N.R.A. members assemble on the U.S. / Mexico border and shoot anything that appears to be flying. This includes UFOs, which are required to be videotaped with low-resolution video cameras held by people experiencing epileptic seizures.

Birds attempting to illegally cross the U.S. / Canada border in order to gain entry will be rounded up by volunteer bird watchers armed with high-powered binoculars and delivered to Tyson Foods' Guantanamo Bay Division for interrogation at the hands of experienced bird torturers. (Torture photos will be posted online by Dick Cheney.)

Parrots that unquestioningly repeat everything they hear may be offered jobs as reporters covering the White House beat.

Birds who attempt to impersonate chickens will be eaten by Morgan Spurlock.

Birds whose migratory patterns are disrupted by this Homeland Insecurity action will be offered assistance from the Federal Emergency Management Association (FEMA), which is standing by with five thousand tons of ice that was never delivered to hurricane Katrina victims and still hasn't completely melted.

All bird houses owned by U.S. citizens must be registered with federal officials under Chapter IV, Section 8 of the Patriot Act.

Citizens caught harboring undocumented birds in undeclared bird houses will be deemed "enemy combatants" and subjected to the whims of Tyson Foods foul interrogators.

All birds made of white meat are hereby requested to report to their nearest INS facility for processing into Chicken McNuggets.Questions about these policies should be directed to the U.S.
Department of Agriculture's food pyramid website, which has the same answer for everyone: "Drink more milk."

Thank you for your compliance,
- The Department of Homeland Insecurity, Multiplication Division

Authored by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger.
http://www.NewsTarget.com/013054.html

Quote of the Day - Special Edition

This Quote of the day is for Ben. Since he thinks they are "Super Cool".

"Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right." Henry Ford

still rockin' on

Well.....hmmmm haven't written anything in a long time. Have I had any adventures lately, that can even become to compare with my posts from Iraq? I mean you can't really top the streets of Iraq in terms of sheer adrenaline. Nothing like an IED to get the heart pumping, or to know how big the line between life and death is. (About this big _______) Most of my posts are usually stories that deal with my life or tied to it some how, not deep philosophical stuff like Bryan and his "quote of the day" (which are usually super cool yeah). I think my time over there has really given me a new outlook on life. I sure appreciate things a whole lot more, (hot women, cold beer) but just not appreciating things. Over there I was the Lead Guntruck Commander. What I did was control the convoy in all terms. I was the master of my domain. I spotted the IEDs, the gunmen on the sandy knoll, I set the pace for the convoy, I lead from the front. I noticed everything. I still do. It is called hyper alertness. I'm not looking for IEDs or the such, but when I see something I truely see it. It is really just paying more attention to my surroundings. It surely makes enjoying the outdoors a whole cooler experience. So I'm still rockin' on. I really have enjoyed my time back. It took a little getting used to, but at least I'm not wigging out every time a car comes speeding at me from a intersecting road any more. Camping, hiking , what have you its been great. I would really like to thank my family and friends for being so supportive while I was deployed and since I have gotten back. Thanks for listening to my slurred stories and just being there for me. Trust me you haven't heard them all. Well bring on the Snow and lets go tear up some Freshie!!

Whistler your next!

The Death of Compassionate Conservatism

I had to share this with everyone. This comes from a Christian magazine, but applies to everyone. They make a VERY good point.


Hearts & Minds - The death of compassionate conservatism
by Jim Wallis

Last week, I spoke with other religious leaders at a pressconference in the U.S. Capitol, urging the House ofRepresentatives to oppose cuts in social services in theirbudget bill. When it was over, we walked to the rotunda to offera prayer for our nation and its leaders, that they would do theright thing for people in poverty. Suddenly, we were face toface with Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) and took theopportunity to deliver our message directly to him. He listenedpolitely, but offered little response.

The House is scheduled to begin debate tomorrow on its budgetbill, which includes $54 billion in cuts. On the table are cutsof $9.5 billion in Medicaid - by requiring co-pays for pregnantwomen and children for the first time; $8 billion in fostercare, child support enforcement, and aid to the disabled; and$844 million in the Food Stamps Program, which would prevent300,000 people from receiving food stamps. Forty thousandchildren would be cut from reduced-price school lunches.Lawmakers intend to follow these with a further cut of $70billion in taxes that will primarily benefit the top 3% oftaxpayers. The message from Congress is that in response toHurricane Katrina, we're going to cut services for the poor, cuttaxes for the rich, and increase deficits for our children and grandchildren.

These plans for deep cuts to social supports, paid for by taxcuts for the wealthiest, are contrary to the national prioritieswe need to protect our most vulnerable citizens. We need strongmoral leadership in Congress, especially during this time ofwar, record deficits, rising poverty and hunger, and naturaldisasters. Cutting food stamps and health care that meet thebasic needs of poor families is an outrage. Cutting socialservices to pay for further tax cuts for the rich is a moraltravesty that violates biblical priorities. The House leadershipseems to be saying they literally want to take food from themouths of children to make rich people richer. If this ideologyand politics of rich over poor prevails and our leaders fail togovern from a set of moral values, then the religious communitymust conclude that compassionate conservatism is dead.

As this battle for the budget unfolds, I am calling on membersof Congress, some of whom make much out of their faith, to startBible studies before they cast votes to cut services that willfurther harm the weakest in our nation. They should focus on thegospel imperative - what Jesus tells us about our obligations tothe "least of these." Some of them have heard the slogan "Whatwould Jesus do?" Now they should ask, "What would Jesus cut?"Budgets are moral documents, and they reflect our nationalpriorities and values. In the name of social conscience, fiscalresponsibility, equal opportunity, protecting our communities,and the very idea of a common good, the upcoming budget voteswill be closely watched by people of faith.

I urge you to read the alert that follows, pick up your phone,and call your member of Congress. Tell him or her to showpolitical will in standing up for the least of these, as Jesusreminds us.

------------------------------------------------

Call Rep. Simpson now, toll-free:
(800) 426-8073 (Thank you, American Friends Service Committee).
The House of Representatives will vote on this immoral budgetproposal as early as Thursday of this week, and a one-minutecall from you and others could mean the difference between a"yea" or a "nay" vote from Rep. Simpson. Dialingthe number above will get you to the Capitol switchboard. Whenyou reach an operator, ask for Rep. Simpson, andwhen connected, say something like:

"As a person of faith from Idaho, I urge Rep.Simpson to vote "no" on this immoral budget billthat cuts $54 billion in vital services to vulnerable people,including Medicaid, foster care, food stamps, and child support.These cuts will hurt survivors of Katrina and countless workingfamilies. Along with proposed tax cuts for the super-wealthy,these are the wrong priorities at the wrong time."

Since Sliced Bread!

Have you ever had a great idea on how to change America for the better? Have you ever wished there was a way to get your idea across and really try to make a difference with it? Well, now there is a way! Maybe. I came across a company that really intrigued me with what they were doing. The company is called Since Sliced Bread (http://www.sinceslicedbread.com/) . They are asking anyone and everyone to submit their ideas for a better America. Not only that, they really want to implement the changes that are submitted. The catch? Thousands of people are sending in their ideas, and only one will be chosen. The upside? If you are smart/fortunate enough to get the winning idea, they will pay you $100,000 dollars. Fire up the motors and start submitting!

Slow it down a bit - Follow your dream

The world is a crazy place, and moves at a pace similar to that of a honey bee. The harder you work, the more you are rewarded. The more money you make, the happier you will be. Can we all agree this is true? Do we all believe in this “system”? Personally, I would like to think not. I would like to think that we have it all wrong. That our current system of work for money, get paid. Don’t get paid, don’t have enough money, get stressed. And since the majority of us don’t seem to have enough money, instead we spend our lives stressing out about it, and possibly not living the lives we were meant to.

Last year I was inspired by a group of people that happened to pass through my small town. They were camped in the park across the street from my house, and on the side of their trailer was painted a large logo that read, www.10mph.com .

What these people were doing was amazing. They quit their corporate jobs to pursue their dream. They decided to throw “conventional wisdom” out the door, and pursue what was in their hearts. Not only that, they decided to include the world, and hopefully inspire them to do the same.

If you haven’t already, check out what these guys are doing. They are well on their way to completing their documentary about America. I think you will enjoy reviewing their trailer.

Click here to learn more